# Breakfast With Woof & Margie — Pass the Biscuits 🍳☕️

**Host:** Woof (@WoofArmyXX) with co-host Margie B (@MargieAponte2) · **Date:** Sun, Nov 1, 2026 · **Duration:** 1:13:54 · **Speakers:** 3 (plus the show's theme song)

## TL;DR
- A post-Halloween, post-time-change Sunday morning round table: no agenda, no gravy, and — per Woof's ruling — no gravy on purpose, because Margie went overboard with it last week [12:52].
- Woof ran his weird-world-news segment (32-hour jack-o'-lantern destined for pig feed, a UFO over Ohio, a sheep pursuit, a deer in a laundromat, and a $20/hr robot-dog-walking startup) [18:01–22:30].
- Margie delivered a full roll call of the room, name by name, with a one-line hype for each — the morning's biggest crowd moment [39:48–42:31].
- A "biscuit debate" settled over-easy eggs as the unanimous winner, and produced a possible rename of Friday Coffee Talk to "The Succulent Sandwich" [43:38–54:26].
- Woof teased a Monday livestream about their tarantulas — roughly 30 of them, biggest around nine or ten inches [55:39].
- Margie told the saga of a pet turtle named Salmonella and two teddy bear hamsters named Sam and Hal, which took an unexpectedly dark turn and then landed on something genuinely thoughtful about not making a new partner pay for an old one [58:34–1:07:46].

## Highlights

**[13:02] The grape jelly problem turns into an allergy clinic.** Woof's dislike of grape jelly ("every time you go someplace, they're like, Oh, here's grape jelly") led Margie to explain she's actually allergic — grapes, cherries, raisins, red dyes, EpiPen in the bag. Woof matched her with hornets and wasps, admitting Meow yells at him for never carrying his EpiPen [14:37].

**[15:57] Woof proposes a solution involving a mama bird.** Having established that kissing someone who's eaten grapes is fine, Woof suggested Ryan chew the grapes and pass them over directly. Margie declined with prejudice: "I could chew my own food" [16:11]. Ryan, brought up a minute later, immediately endorsed the plan — "if it's chewed up good enough, you'll be fine" [17:16].

**[21:24] Weird news lands its best punchline.** On a Delta pilot at LaGuardia asking passengers to vote on whether to wait for dog urine to be cleaned up: "Welcome aboard. Today's inflight entertainment is a dude-to-chihuahua." The segment also produced a deer who saw laundromat prices and "chose violence."

**[24:28] The Cincinnati brunch odyssey.** Three restaurants, one blocked exit, and a man who parked in the middle of a lot aisle with his hazards on and wandered off. Woof's proposed fix escalated from a beater truck to a tank. They finally landed at North Star Cafe — biscuits and gravy with a spicy gravy for him, a frittata for Meow, which Woof first pronounced "ferrata," prompting Margie to ask if she got a Ferrari [26:42].

**[28:02] The mimosa mom.** Woof reported a woman who carried her mimosa with her everywhere in the restaurant and then exited ten yards ahead of her own family. Margie's read was immediate — glove box stash. Ryan offered the charitable alternative: "Maybe she just had her drink stolen one time and she's like, never again" [29:43].

**[39:48] Margie's roll call.** The centerpiece of the morning: Margie went around the entire room and gave everyone a line — Woof as "the biggest teddy bear," Ryan as "the Canadian stallion," Dan the recap guy getting a genuine salute for how much he does IRL [41:03], and Meow's custom sneaker and leather work getting a hard "do not sleep on Meow" [42:31]. She described herself as "none like Margie B because she is so quiet and shy." Woof's review: "Holy moly, that was a long one... does she have an off switch?" [43:15].

**[47:33] The Waffle House toast.** Margie watched a server scrape a burnt piece of toast with her fingernails, leaned over to tell her then-husband she felt sorry for whoever was getting it, and then received it herself. She waited in the car. Woof countered with a guy he was stationed with who had to beg every diner in America to burn his toast on purpose, and nobody would do it [49:54].

**[52:18] "Succulent" goes on trial.** Margie described her grilled cheese as needing to be succulent; Woof and Ryan formed an immediate coalition of disbelief ("nobody says that about a sandwich" [53:42]). Margie held the line — "I'm different. I'm not a regular person" — and Woof floated renaming his Friday space The Succulent Sandwich [54:03]. Woof then noted that Meow murders actual succulents, along with beta fish, while somehow keeping dogs, cats and tarantulas alive [54:26].

**[58:34] Salmonella the turtle.** A three-year-old's naming choice, a fridge containing two identical brown bags — one hidden M&Ms, one worms — and an ex-husband who responded to a bitten toe with "survival of the fittest" and the front door. A neighbor intercepted the turtle before traffic did and made soup; the shell became a jewelry box [1:00:08]. Woof, after a beat: "I'm gonna sit over here traumatized" [1:00:18]. The sequel involving the hamsters Sam and Hal ran even stranger, and Ryan asked the question everyone was thinking [1:04:08].

**[1:05:12] The turn.** The hamster bit opened into Margie talking plainly about an abusive marriage, staying for her daughter, sleeping with a knife under her pillow — and then landing somewhere constructive: believe in karma, take a pause after a breakup, and don't make the next person pay for the last one. "You can do bad all by yourself" [1:07:46]. Her revenge fantasy involving neighborhood dog poop and a windshield [1:06:27] kept the room from getting too heavy, and prompted Woof to advise Ryan to rent a car when he visits.

**[1:10:57] The close.** Woof's sign-off — the little moments matter, call your family, actually sit down and enjoy breakfast, and "if you got one biscuit left, maybe consider sharing the damn thing." Margie, instantly: "We're not sharing biscuits" [1:11:59]. Earlier in her own thanks she'd made clear that the no-bacon situation was a budgeting decision on Woof's part [1:09:43], and she objected on principle to being thanked for "joining" a show she co-hosts every single time [1:11:15].

## Topic timeline

| Time | Topic |
|---|---|
| [0:32]–[6:05] | Tech troubles starting the Space, time change, Halloween debrief |
| [6:44]–[12:04] | Theme song |
| [12:27]–[17:48] | Dry biscuits, grape jelly, allergies, EpiPens, the mama-bird proposal |
| [18:01]–[22:48] | Weird world news |
| [23:11]–[28:02] | Leech anatomy, the Cincinnati brunch odyssey |
| [28:02]–[31:20] | The mimosa mom; Margie on coffee vs. booze growing up |
| [31:36]–[39:34] | Halloween: candy, scary movies, costumes, adults trick-or-treating |
| [39:48]–[43:23] | Margie's roll call of the room |
| [43:38]–[47:26] | Biscuit debate: gravy vs. syrup, bacon vs. sausage, over "sleazy" eggs |
| [47:33]–[54:26] | Waffle House toast, grilled cheese, the succulent trial |
| [54:26]–[58:34] | Meow's plant body count; tarantula livestream preview |
| [58:34]–[1:05:12] | Salmonella the turtle, Sam and Hal the hamsters |
| [1:05:12]–[1:07:46] | Margie on her marriage, karma, and starting over |
| [1:07:55]–[1:13:00] | Closing thanks and sign-offs |

## Notable quotes

- **Margie B [23:34]:** "You do not want to call me a leech because you remember a leech has 18 testicles. And I don't have — I don't have any testicles."
- **Woof [21:24]:** "Welcome aboard. Today's inflight entertainment is a dude-to-chihuahua."
- **Margie B [48:17]:** "I reach over to my daughter's dad and I'm like, oh my god, I feel sorry for the person that gets that. Don't you know that was my toast? That was my toast."
- **Margie B [54:10]:** "The succulent sandwich that will leave you flabbergasted and aloof."
- **Woof [54:26]:** "They can survive the desert, but they can't survive the Meow."
- **Margie B [1:07:46]:** "Don't jump into another relationship because you're feeling needy. You know, you can do bad all by yourself."

## Who said what

- **Woof (@WoofArmyXX)** — host; ran the news segment, the biscuit debate and the close, narrated the brunch odyssey and the Halloween night costume that scared small children into refusing to walk up the driveway, and teased Monday's tarantula livestream.
- **Margie B (@MargieAponte2)** — co-host and the engine of the morning; allergies, Waffle House, Salmonella the turtle, the full-room roll call, and the one stretch where the show got serious and then recovered.
- **Ryan (@RyanJ8812)** — the steady third voice from Canada; argued for pancakes and crepes, voted over-easy, defended the mimosa mom, and asked the questions the hosts were too polite to ask. Signed off having "found out a lot of interesting things about Margie's neighbors" [1:09:21].

## Worth a full listen

- **[39:48]–[43:23]** — Margie's roll call. A summary can list the names; it can't carry the delivery, and the room clearly knew it was coming.
- **[58:34]–[1:05:12]** — The Salmonella-to-Sam-and-Hal pet saga. It keeps escalating, Woof and Ryan keep reacting in real time, and the punchlines land in an order you won't see coming.
- **[1:05:12]–[1:07:46]** — The pivot from hamster comedy to Margie talking straight about her marriage and about not carrying old damage into a new relationship. Short, unforced, and the most genuinely useful few minutes of the hour.