# Re:Invigorate With Woof: Starbucks, Dunkin' or Tim Hortons?

**Host:** Woof (@WoofArmyXX) · **Date:** Fri, Oct 2, 2026 · **Duration:** 1:25:01 · **~7 speakers**

## TL;DR
- A morning coffee-allegiance debate that was never really close: Dunkin' got the loudest defenders, but Woof and Lyss combined their (self-declared) 11 votes to crown Starbucks at the buzzer [1:23:02].
- UNCLE CORVUS turned a chain-coffee poll into a Kenyan single-origin tasting note, and gave a genuinely informative detour on coffee as a global commodity and bourbon-barrel-infused green beans [26:28].
- Patron (@ALPHAisFREE), brought in by Burning Bush the night before, made his first appearance in the room and spent most of the hour openly impressed by the Regens' community culture — and said he's planning to buy in [55:06].
- Lyss gave the practical on-ramp: with Base through OpenSea you no longer need to bridge, and Unvault hasn't launched yet [41:45].
- JINXAT, speaking from Indonesia at night, introduced himself for one of the first times in a Space — a law graduate who built his own art project, website and contract, with GPT doing the coding [1:09:27].
- Before any of that: Australian funnel-web spiders that survive underwater in swimming pools, courtesy of UNCLE CORVUS [22:00].

## Highlights

**[9:46] Woof opens solo and immediately confesses to a scheduling panic.** With Margie B out sick, Woof flies without a cohost — and recounts bolting awake at Meow's 5:40 alarm convinced he was late for work, phone in hand ready to call in, before being informed he was off. Seven days off ahead of him, and the body hadn't gotten the memo.

**[11:14] Wolf's World Word News.** A greatest-hits run of animal stories: a celebrity shark in Busan that drew 600,000 visitors and declined to be persuaded back to sea by five boats spraying water at it ("I live in water, you dummy"), a Mississippi raccoon boot camp with actual graduation ceremonies, Alaska's Fat Bear Week, and a 78-year-old Scottish Fortnite streamer whose grandson doubted anyone would watch.

**[17:25] The Newcastle Big Boy.** UNCLE CORVUS reports a newly measured funnel-web roughly twice normal size, then explains the fangs will go through a sneaker or a gum boot like a nail. Australia also used to pay people to catch and deliver live funnel-webs — about $25–30 each — because there wasn't enough antivenom to go around.

**[22:00] The swimming pool story.** The segment's actual showstopper: funnel-webs sink to the bottom of a pool, encase their heads in a bubble of air, and wait out the heat. CORVUS and his mates scooped four apparently-dead spiders from a pool, watched them shake themselves off and scurry away, and he went home. "I'm going home and I'm never coming back... I swear I didn't go back."

**[26:28] CORVUS delivers an unsolicited tasting note.** Given permission to pick a local, he goes deep on a Kenyan Kamwangi — SL28, SL34, Ruiru 11, washed, omni roast — with burnt orange, toffee and black currant, and a finish so sweet he has to clarify he added no sugar. Then, under pressure to pick a chain, he reluctantly lands on Dunkin' and lays the state of the coffee industry at the feet of the other two [29:05].

**[32:11] Berserker Bill phones in from the source.** Born in Kenya, served coffee at school ("which is quite nuts, really"), and declines all three chains on the grounds that Starbucks where he is "just tastes like burnt dirt."

**[36:52] Patron introduces himself.** Sent over by Burning Bush, he gently corrects the pronunciation — Patron, not Patron — and notes Gary Vee gets it wrong too. He stays the full hour, calls the Regens' culture incredible more than once, and by [55:06] is talking himself into a purchase: "I thought these things were gonna be like 50 bucks, 80 bucks."

**[45:32] The frozen French vanilla defense.** Patron redeems himself with CORVUS by finally answering the coffee question, making the case for Dunkin's large frozen French vanilla in Florida heat. The bacon, egg and cheese endorsement does not survive contact with Lyss [47:11], who calls cap on his New York credentials on the spot.

**[49:11] McFly arrives, chooses bodega, and sets off a chain reaction.** His brew method — "I put the coffee beans in a sock" — is offered deadpan. Shortly after, the room hears the unmistakable clicking of someone cracking a safe live on air [53:28]; McFly explains he's locked out of his own flux capacitor and has forgotten the code. He also reports, sincerely, that you can buy a flux capacitor at Advance Auto Parts.

**[1:07:23] Lyss on floor price.** Responding to Patron's read of the chart, she draws the distinction carefully: not that floor price doesn't matter — "anyone that says it doesn't matter is partially lying and they don't get the game" — but that the team showed up the same way on red days as green.

**[1:09:27] JINXAT's introduction.** Speaking at night from Indonesia, he reads from notes, apologizes for his English, and restarts once. Woof redirects him away from the project pitch toward himself, and he describes studying law in Jakarta, holding a comics idea since college, and finally building the characters and stories he wanted in high school — site and contract included, with GPT writing the code [1:14:36].

**[1:19:35] October belongs to UNCLE CORVUS.** He claims the entire month as birthday territory — no thumbs down, mandatory laughing at his jokes, dessert before dinner, and he'll accept anything, "I'll take an air fryer." Lyss co-signs immediately, already planning her January party and noting McFly's birthday month also isn't over.

## Topic timeline

| Time | Topic |
|---|---|
| [1:05] – [9:46] | Music open, Woof's coffee-themed intro track |
| [9:46] – [11:14] | Woof solo, no cohost, the 5:40 alarm incident |
| [11:14] – [16:30] | Wolf's World Word News: shark, raccoons, fat bears, Fortnite grandma |
| [17:04] – [24:45] | UNCLE CORVUS on funnel-webs, red backs, antivenom, pool spiders |
| [24:49] – [32:11] | Coffee question opens; CORVUS on Kenyan single-origin and the commodity market |
| [32:11] – [36:30] | Berserker Bill on Kenya; bourbon-barrel coffee; Frontier Coffee Company |
| [36:52] – [45:22] | Patron's intro; Regens, Base/OpenSea, Unvault, becoming a Space host |
| [45:32] – [54:05] | Dunkin' defense, the bacon-egg-and-cheese dispute, McFly, the safe |
| [54:05] – [1:09:00] | Community, IRL friendship, V Friends, floor price |
| [1:09:15] – [1:15:27] | JINXAT introduces himself from Indonesia |
| [1:16:30] – [1:25:01] | Closing round, birthday month, Starbucks declared winner |

## Notable quotes

- "Somebody woke up and chose Starbucks today. Somebody hit Dunkin' on the driveway." — Woof's intro track [5:01]
- "Trash pandas are receiving a better education than some of the people I know." — Woof, on the raccoon boot camp [12:42]
- "How many people in Australia have been bitten on the foot by a spider that they've taken out of the pool, and next minute the spider goes, shakes itself off and just takes off?" — UNCLE CORVUS [22:00]
- "Starbucks over here, I've tried it multiple times and it just tastes like burnt dirt." — Berserker Bill [32:11]
- "These crowns are only reserved for kings." — Patron [47:26]
- "We're a bunch of degenerates who don't give a fuck about the floor price." — McFly [55:42]
- "Anyone that says it doesn't matter is partially lying and they don't get the game, so it definitely matters. But... on the red days, and when we had a really bearish market, we were still showing up every single day, the same way we do on the green days." — Lyss [1:07:23]

## Who said what

**Woof (@WoofArmyXX)** — Host, flying solo without Margie B. Ran the news segment, posed the coffee question, and ultimately stacked the vote for Starbucks. Drinks Frontier Coffee Company out of Talbot, Tennessee, on a five-pound monthly subscription — the bourbon-infused one.

**UNCLE CORVUS (@unclecorvus)** — The room's resident coffee authority and Australian wildlife correspondent. Supplied the funnel-web lore, the Kenyan tasting notes, the industry context, and a reluctant Dunkin' vote cast entirely on sourcing grounds. Also claimed October.

**Patron (@ALPHAisFREE)** — First-timer sent by Burning Bush. Spent the hour taking notes on how the Regens run community, defended Dunkin's frozen French vanilla, read the floor chart as going "up and to the right," and said he wants to buy in and eventually host Spaces himself.

**Lyss (@Lysss302)** — Gave the practical details on Base, OpenSea and Unvault, pointed Patron toward the host process, named the community members in the room, and offered the most measured take of the morning on what floor price does and doesn't dictate. Voted Starbucks.

**McFly (@MrMcFly100)** — Bodega loyalist, black coffee with two Splendas, brewing method undisclosed except for the sock. Spoke warmly about meeting Patron through V Friends and the strangers-to-family arc. Also audibly failed to crack his own safe on mic.

**Berserker Bill (@BillySc39828865)** — Dropped in on a work break. Born in Kenya, grew up around the coffee, and declined all three chains.

**JINXAT (@jinxatx)** — Joined from Indonesia late at night to introduce himself for one of the first times. Law graduate, self-taught artist and builder, carrying a comics idea since college.

## Worth a full listen

**[17:04] – [24:45]** — The funnel-web segment. The underwater-bubble pool story and the "we used to get paid $25 a spider" antivenom history land much better in CORVUS's own delivery than in summary, and Woof's reactions are half the fun.

**[26:28] – [32:11]** — CORVUS's single-origin breakdown into the industry rant into the grudging Dunkin' endorsement. Three distinct registers in five minutes, and the only part of the Space where someone's genuinely expert.

**[45:32] – [54:05]** — The chaos stretch: Patron's frozen-French-vanilla pitch, Lyss calling cap on the New York bacon-egg-and-cheese, the crispy-before-noon bit going over Patron's head, and McFly cracking a safe on live audio while looking for his flux capacitor.