TACO 🌮 TUESDAY: Margie B's Birthday Edition

Margie opened by admitting she'd blamed a day of jitters on individually wrapped Apple Jacks before realizing the real cause: people were about to be nice to her. She talked about growing up without birthdays or Christmas presents on one side of her family, and finding the opposite in Web3: "I'm that person to want to be the biggest cheerleader... I'm not good at receiving it, but I have to get used to it."

Woof's first custom track, an old-school birthday banger with lines about coffee, no filter, and 42 candles — "somebody check her hair." Margie's response was to immediately warn the room that blowing out candles spreads bacteria across the icing, which set up a running bit for the rest of the night about whether Woof is allowed to lick the cake.

The second track dropped the jokes entirely: "Don't count all the years gone by, count the moments that made you fly." It landed; Margie came back quiet.

Margie laid out the last year straight: a pacemaker conversation after her 41st birthday, nine weeks without being allowed to speak, and friends sending lunch money and copay money while she felt guilty about all of it. Her plan is to repay every one of them — not out of obligation, but so they can pay it forward.

Money Miller arrived to a "my sister from a different mister," confirming same day, same month, same year. At 28:04 he spun up a track about a crew of degenerates still going at 4 a.m., which ends with actual birds chirping in time — "yo, the birds actually count on beat."

Margie explained the Puerto Rican superstition she grew up under: her birth certificate says Tuesday even though she was born on a Saturday at 10:13 a.m., and in the culture a Tuesday the 13th arrival means don't marry, don't board a boat, hold that baby in. She noted Martes traces back to the Roman god of blood and war, then clarified: "Margie B is not a violent person. I have no bodies hidden in my basement. Because I do not have a basement."

October from octo; more US presidents born in October than any other month; the first party balloons were animal intestines; and a study claiming October babies have lower cardiovascular risk, which Margie rejected on the spot as "a lie, because I'm living it."

August for most common birth month (StarSeed Witch, on the second try), Elvis for January 8th, Las Vegas for the biggest cake. Woof answered a Chinese-zodiac question with "koala" and defended it — "a koala is just a furry dragon" — and guessed 1602 for the publication year of "Happy Birthday to You," which Margie had already framed as "around the time Woofy was born."

Nothing, a library, darkness, a secret, the match, footprints, a hole in the barrel ("that was dumb," per Ryan, who got it), tulips, dough→money, and a potato with lots of eyes. Woof's answer to "what question can you never say yes to" was "syphilis," which was not it, and Margie's own answer ("Are you asleep?") she immediately called bull crap.

He came up only to wish Margie happy birthday and to get StarSeed Witch to say a certain line from a famously bad movie in her Australian accent. At 1:23:30 he mentioned the welding class that produced a miniature dachshund made from a garage door spring and some hammers — an ode to Frankie — which prompted Margie into a riff on estate-sale furniture and why nobody should discount their own hobby.

After roughly five repetitions of "you don't see a single person on the boat," Ryan cracked it: "Is it because they're all married?" Margie: "Yes, everybody's married. Everybody is married. I'm leaving now."