Re:Invigorate With Woof: SASQUATCH — The Legend, Mystery, Hairy Truth 🫈👣

Margie B came in half-voiced and apologetic — she looked up and it was 9:05 — after Meow and Ryan were deployed to call her. Woof's version: he started the space, got no good-morning back, and asked Meow to check whether Margie was passed out.

Margie had been saving a word since Taco Tuesday trivia just to watch Woof wrestle it. "Kaleidoscope" went down easy; "archaeologist" also landed, because he'd pre-practiced it at work with his personal hooked-on-phonics coworker. Margie, genuinely let down: "I'm so disappointed."

A Bosnian man and his rescued bear cub, men running Johannesburg in purple Speedos for prostate cancer awareness, 50,000-year-old Indonesian cave art threatened by wildfires, and the 2028 sunset on New York's horse-drawn carriages — on which Margie, a five-or-six-time rider, advised fall over summer and noted the price has crept toward $300 17:40.

Woof framed the episode: satellites, drones, trail cams, thermal, 4K in everyone's pocket — and the big guy still turns up looking like he was shot on a potato. He also laid down the house rule for the morning: ask questions, laugh, maybe learn something.

UNCLE CORVUS surfaced after a rough connection with a single-origin Volcán Azul — raspberry, dark chocolate, cherry — and dropped the detail that reframed the whole hour: Australia has its own sightings, and its own regional lore.

The standout of the morning. Corvus described growing up in rural Australia in the early '80s being taught Aboriginal dreamtime law at primary school, and an elder coming in to tell the class about two Yowies — the six-to-seven-footer, and the three-to-four-foot one they fear far more. If you smell rotting flesh and feel dread, hug a eucalyptus tree, close your eyes, and do not open them. He was eight. It stuck.

Corvus on the two times he's simply turned around and walked out: mid-summer, cicadas screaming, then total silence, then the walk back to the car with a look over the shoulder every five minutes. Woof matched it with deer-hunting dark and the feeling of being watched; later he added a Mount Rainier fishing trip that coincided with a sighting in the same area 40:25.

A screech out of the bush, four black helicopters out there all night, a strange track with bent and snapped trees that Corvus filmed — and a week later, a reported Bigfoot sighting about a kilometre down the river, with the witness's material taken and injunctions attached. He noted national parks still logs the sightings, including ones from two months ago.

Corvus floated frequency interference messing with digital cameras; Margie offered the simpler version — he's gone before you get your phone out 53:45; Woof settled on the definitive explanation that Bigfoot is the only creature on earth with a built-in anti-autofocus system [1:03:05 area, stated at 58:30]. Chun later closed the loop: asked what Bigfoot would tell humanity, she said he'd tell us to get better cameras 1:26:56.

Margie's shout-out run around the room — Woofy renamed Winnie the Pool, Corvus "this cracker is from the bush, and if you know, you know," Chun "a nice hun," Ryan the essential Canadian bacon which goes by ham, El Gato Satoshi keeping the men in line. It ran hot into Donny's arrival and stayed there.

Corvus went for union drinks, both mates ordered light beers, so he ordered milk with ice: clearly none of us are drinking, so I might as well get milk. Donny immediately announced he was stealing it. So did Woof.

The round that closed it out: Margie — "Leave me alone." Corvus — unprintable and perfect. Chun — get better cameras. Donny — "Took you suckers long enough."