Re:Invigorate With Woof: Starbucks, Dunkin' or Tim Hortons?

With Margie B out sick, Woof flies without a cohost — and recounts bolting awake at Meow's 5:40 alarm convinced he was late for work, phone in hand ready to call in, before being informed he was off. Seven days off ahead of him, and the body hadn't gotten the memo.

A greatest-hits run of animal stories: a celebrity shark in Busan that drew 600,000 visitors and declined to be persuaded back to sea by five boats spraying water at it ("I live in water, you dummy"), a Mississippi raccoon boot camp with actual graduation ceremonies, Alaska's Fat Bear Week, and a 78-year-old Scottish Fortnite streamer whose grandson doubted anyone would watch.

UNCLE CORVUS reports a newly measured funnel-web roughly twice normal size, then explains the fangs will go through a sneaker or a gum boot like a nail. Australia also used to pay people to catch and deliver live funnel-webs — about $25–30 each — because there wasn't enough antivenom to go around.

The segment's actual showstopper: funnel-webs sink to the bottom of a pool, encase their heads in a bubble of air, and wait out the heat. CORVUS and his mates scooped four apparently-dead spiders from a pool, watched them shake themselves off and scurry away, and he went home. "I'm going home and I'm never coming back... I swear I didn't go back."

Given permission to pick a local, he goes deep on a Kenyan Kamwangi — SL28, SL34, Ruiru 11, washed, omni roast — with burnt orange, toffee and black currant, and a finish so sweet he has to clarify he added no sugar. Then, under pressure to pick a chain, he reluctantly lands on Dunkin' and lays the state of the coffee industry at the feet of the other two 29:05.

Born in Kenya, served coffee at school ("which is quite nuts, really"), and declines all three chains on the grounds that Starbucks where he is "just tastes like burnt dirt."

Sent over by Burning Bush, he gently corrects the pronunciation — Patron, not Patron — and notes Gary Vee gets it wrong too. He stays the full hour, calls the Regens' culture incredible more than once, and by 55:06 is talking himself into a purchase: "I thought these things were gonna be like 50 bucks, 80 bucks."

Patron redeems himself with CORVUS by finally answering the coffee question, making the case for Dunkin's large frozen French vanilla in Florida heat. The bacon, egg and cheese endorsement does not survive contact with Lyss 47:11, who calls cap on his New York credentials on the spot.

His brew method — "I put the coffee beans in a sock" — is offered deadpan. Shortly after, the room hears the unmistakable clicking of someone cracking a safe live on air 53:28; McFly explains he's locked out of his own flux capacitor and has forgotten the code. He also reports, sincerely, that you can buy a flux capacitor at Advance Auto Parts.

Responding to Patron's read of the chart, she draws the distinction carefully: not that floor price doesn't matter — "anyone that says it doesn't matter is partially lying and they don't get the game" — but that the team showed up the same way on red days as green.

Speaking at night from Indonesia, he reads from notes, apologizes for his English, and restarts once. Woof redirects him away from the project pitch toward himself, and he describes studying law in Jakarta, holding a comics idea since college, and finally building the characters and stories he wanted in high school — site and contract included, with GPT writing the code 1:14:36.

He claims the entire month as birthday territory — no thumbs down, mandatory laughing at his jokes, dessert before dinner, and he'll accept anything, "I'll take an air fryer." Lyss co-signs immediately, already planning her January party and noting McFly's birthday month also isn't over.