Happy Hour 34 — "Onboarding coworkers to STONKBROKERS? 👀🤓"

Host: Mike Campbell (@mikecampbelltv) with co-host Bored Osaka (@BoredOsaka1) · Thu 24 Sep 2026 · 3:34:31 · ~14 voices on stage

TL;DR

• Mike walked a coworker through his first self-custody wallet (Rabby) at work, seed phrase lecture included — the title track of the night [23:05].
• Deliberately a low-tech night: everyone had just come off a dense Dutchie × Simple Farmer space, so this one was "grab a beverage, we're the bartenders" [3:05:25].
• Real alpha that did land: Simple Farmer's solo vaults / tokenized leveraged options post got pinned [12:26], and Blaze relayed that perps are coming to Mancer [1:30:26].
• Bitkoning brought the BitGet hack news, including the exchange's anniversary "the view from here is amazing" tweet posted roughly an hour before it happened [30:41].
• Mike shared, for the first time on air, a workplace discrimination experience he's been sitting on for years — the room's advice was unanimous: document it, talk to a lawyer [1:11:40].
• ApeFest/Charleston logistics firmed up: Airbnbs, a stonkbrokers pre-party the afternoon of the event, and one very mourned barbecue restaurant that turns out to be permanently closed [2:14:08].

Highlights

[23:05] The actual onboarding story. Mike prints his NFTs and tapes them up at his desk; a coworker who's been teaching himself options on Robinhood kept asking about the stonkbroker on the wall. That finally turned into a live tutorial: download Rabby, here's what a seed phrase is, never photograph it, write the words in order. The twist neither of them expected — Rabby makes you come up with your own 12 words, so the guy spent all afternoon trying to make them mean something. "It doesn't matter, don't make sense of it. Random words, that's what you want."

[30:41] Bitkoning on the BitGet hack. He'd only found out an hour earlier, but caught the detail that stuck: BitGet had posted an eighth-anniversary photo from a mountaintop ("the view from here is amazing") about an hour before the breach, on the eve of a national holiday where the team is based. The protection fund reportedly covers it, which prompted Bored Osaka's point [33:21] that he doesn't want to hear about insurance from these CEOs — he wants to hear what changes so it doesn't happen again.

[41:36] Mixed feelings on flipping a gifted intern. Mike raised — carefully, and not aimed at anyone — the case of someone who received an intern and immediately spun up a desk to sell it. He landed on both sides: it's their asset, and desks are the ecosystem, but "you're given something because they thought you were gonna help promote and work on the project." Bored Osaka added the charitable read at [43:34]: the person may not have understood what they were handed, and nobody knows anyone else's circumstances.

[1:11:40] Mike's discrimination story. He'd hinted at it for two nights and finally told it: a Federal Security Director, making a point about diversity in front of ~30 colleagues, used Mike and two Black colleagues as a hypothetical with identical résumés and said he wouldn't hire Mike. A fast-moving career stalled completely afterward — a dozen-plus interviews, no promotions. A mediator told him he'd win with a lawyer, but it'd cost around $30k. Blaze and Bored Osaka both pushed him toward at least a free consult; Mike noted [1:18:03] that the courts have held intent doesn't matter. He also said what he actually wants now isn't a promotion — it's the retirement he already earned.

[1:38:44] chazzgold's theory of cats. Dropping in to say hi before dinner, Chazz explained feline attitude via "genetic memory" — they remember being gods in Egypt, hence the landlord energy. This dovetailed into the evening's running theme of cats as tiny perfect killing machines, Mike's raptor-style two-cat ambush of a houseguest's dog [1:37:34], and Smitdog's beautifully doomed [1:41:25] account of lying down for ten minutes, getting a cat curled up on him, and losing an hour because the cat looked too cute to disturb.

[2:10:50] Space Kitty onboards a Walgreens cashier. Joining mid-pharmacy-run for a kid in pain, she realized the guy at the counter could hear the whole space — "you know, like what kind of hoe is this? Like talking to all those guys at once." So she asked if he knew what NFTs were, he said yes without blinking, and she sent him to look up stonkbrokers before sprinting out. Her takeaway: he didn't look at her like she had 20 heads. "How far are we coming, guys?"

[2:18:11] The accent that cannot be contained. Space Kitty warned that her Knoxville accent is normally masked and that if anyone country starts talking, it's over for her. Smitdog (South Carolina, low country) promptly kept talking, then Bored Osaka added a "y'all," and the whole thing escalated into her banning Alabama and Georgia from the stage. She also explained the part nobody outside the South clocks: the masking is work, done so people can actually understand you.

[2:34:08] Cheese whiz diplomacy fails. Mike asked an innocent question about cheesesteaks. Space Kitty — who once drove nine hours each way to Philadelphia purely to get one — declared cheese whiz disqualifying ("I don't want a nacho sandwich"), Executive defended "with or without" as the official Philly order, and the exchange ended with her conceding she tried both and stands by the verdict. Mike, delighted and guilty: "Well, I mean, it is a topic, right?"

[2:49:15] The Gen X survival anthology. It escalates gorgeously: motorcycle tag in grade school where you tag someone by touching your front tire to their back tire, a farmer's wire strung across a road that caught Mike's cousin in the throat, a burst appendix at ten treated with a heating pad all weekend, a drain installed in the doctor's office without anesthesia, a scar "like a knife fight," electrocution, and — from both Mike and Smitdog — the electric fence. Bored Osaka, correctly: "I have questions."

[3:02:36] Squiddy clocks in. He wandered in for the music ("I feel like I should be having a little whiskey drink"), mentioned he's just landed an internship and has no idea what he's doing yet. Mike pointed him at the Dutchie × Simple Farmer replay as the best starting point, Bored Osaka told him to buckle up and listen two or three times with a notepad, and Squiddy noted taking someone else's notes is how he got through school.

Topic timeline

Notable quotes

• "I'd rather have a job that I'm happy at that pays me less than a job that I'm unhappy at that pays me more." — Merkshot [16:57]
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• "Oh, and by the way, the courts every single time have said intent has no bearing." — Mike Campbell [1:18:03]
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• "They literally — my two cats are like, they actually have this attitude of like, you pay rent for us. Like this is our house." — chazzgold.eth [1:39:20]
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• "Listen, we're known for some stuff down here too, but it ain't all good. You hear me?" — SpaceKitty, on regional food pride [2:35:04]
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• "Duct tape is like the force that has a light and the dark side and it keeps the universe together." — Bored Osaka [2:48:29]
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• "Remember to be kind. You don't know what people are going through. Even a simple smile can make their day better. Call your mom. Call your dad." — Mike Campbell, closing [3:33:44]
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Who said what

• Mike Campbell — host; brought the title story (coworker → Rabby wallet), the discrimination account, an alarming quantity of childhood survival stories, and the closing benediction. Also lost a day of the week and watched a basketball game throughout.
• Bored Osaka — co-host; photography day job, room resets, the "insurance isn't an answer" take on exchange hacks, Charleston BBQ research, and the single most unexpected party anecdote of the night.
• SpaceKitty — joined mid-pharmacy-run, onboarded a Walgreens cashier live, defended Southern food and Southern accents, stared down a bear, and successfully installed "Old Lady Mike" as canon before leaving.
• Smitdog — South Carolina correspondent; hurricanes, tides, grits, accent-switching for tourists, four-wheelers tangled in electric fence, and one perfectly timed heckle about which pew Bored Osaka sits in.
• Bitkoning — brought the BitGet hack details and the anniversary-tweet timing; also marveled at Simple Farmer shipping something new almost daily on a nine-week-old project.
• Blaze on X News — checked in on the story Mike had been sitting on, pushed him toward a lawyer, and relayed that Michael Hirsch said perps are coming to Mancer; also thinking about a newsletter to fill Mancer's marketing gap.
• Εxecυtiνeape Αpe — Philly cheesesteak defense counsel; updated the room on his daughter's second cast of the year and asked the one genuinely technical question of the night about the ENS/names launch timing [2:05:57].
• Asun — broadcasting from a delivery run in Queensland; supplied the kangaroo footage, an open invitation to Australia, and a note that AI could just summarize the Simple Farmer space for you.
• Agent — dialing in from parent-teacher conferences abroad; talked about slowly onboarding family and why currency conditions where he lives make crypto an easier conversation.
• TatakaeFYT — LA baseball, Phillies fans as a survival hazard, grits taxonomy, and 73 orders on the merch side.
• Merkshot — early chill-vibes anchor; the happier-job-for-less-money line, and a cat that outsmarts him.
• chazzgold.eth — popped in between tasks to deliver the Egyptian-gods theory of cat behavior and mention Hermes shipping thousands of updates.
• NevaRest_Pro / John — lives five miles from the launch pads; explained why Cape Canaveral has never taken a direct hurricane hit, and confessed to the night his dad removed his car battery preemptively.
• SQUIDDY — new intern, arrived for the music, left with homework.

Worth a full listen

• [1:11:40]–[1:22:16] — Mike's discrimination story told end to end, plus the room's response. It's the most serious stretch of the night and the summary flattens the weight of it.
• [2:18:11]–[2:36:20] — the accent bit rolling straight into pecan pronunciation and the cheese whiz tribunal. Entirely dependent on delivery; transcription does not carry it.
• [2:41:12]–[3:00:58] — Space Kitty's bear standoff and then the Gen X near-death anthology (motorcycle tag, the wire, the appendix, the electric fence). It compounds, and it has to be heard in sequence.